He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
