I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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