I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize