I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
