it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
