is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize