She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
