I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My vagina just clenched in fear
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
