i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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