Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
