I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
