u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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