i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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