Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
