She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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