tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
