Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
