Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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