Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My vagina just recognized that song.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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