i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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