Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
