But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she smelled like a LAN party
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
