Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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