Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
