just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
