I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
