Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
