I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
