Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
