She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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