I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
