You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
