I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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