There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
