ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
