Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
