I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
