it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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