Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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