literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
