Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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