i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
