I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
