I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
