Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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