I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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