you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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