Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
