i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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