i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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