i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize