I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
