After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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