My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
