so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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