maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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