I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
