you guys were way drunker than both of me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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