Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
