there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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