Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize