Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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