this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
