bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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