Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Randomize
