Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
