Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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