Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
