Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
