I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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