I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
