sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have post one night stand depression
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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