he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
