fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
