Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize