If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
