Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
