If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize