I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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