please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I enjoy the company of your penis
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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