About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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