Pappa wants mamma naked
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
