I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
time to smoke my breakfast
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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